Alex Lara

I had quite a blast this past fashion week, it was truly amazing to see a city that not long ago was struck by devastating catastrophe, and united by a sort of trascendent brotherhood they climbed up the rubble and gave us a marvelous display of art in the form of fashion.

In times like this, it is quite Aw inspiring to be able to call myself a citizen of this wonderful country, one that always finds the most brilliant kinds beauty.

Pineda Covalín.

Galo Bertín.

Elle México Diseña.

Fashion Week Academy.

Xico.

Yeshua Herrera.

Iván Ávalos.

I've been giving a lot of thought to everything in my life, from my career to my personal life, from the way in which I behave to the realisation that I am far too young.

I´ve never seen myself as a young person, even when I was a kid — that's why I was so serious whilst growing up. I always believed that if I acted like the characters on the movies I liked –especially James Bond – I would eventually be like them. But since I moved here I slowly started to realize that I am in fact young, I mean, I know I am no longer a teenager and that every decision I make from now on is going to affect my future. That last part is something that hadn't really sank in before, and now, I really have this overwhelming feeling that I have to step up my game when it comes to... well everything. I have to be better, I have to act better, work better, speak better, write better, feel better, listen better, love better, care better, I have to remember the vision I have of myself for the future and be better than that.

I have to understand that all those things I have to do, I have to do for myself, because as much as I like thinking that someone might think of their life and plan for me being in it, I have to start thinking – at least for the sake of argument – that they won't and think or at least try and do the same...

The problem is that I am not like that, I am sadly incapable of thinking that way, for me life is kind of meaningless without the people you love being there to share all the madness that goes around with. Even if she is not in my life at the moment, my strange gut tells me that I have to keep a place in it for her, because that's what I believe the characters from my childhood would do, because I know that even if my little charcoal heart is all cracked up, I will always feel over the moon every time I look at her even if she doesn't look back.

All in all I feel strangely young and even though I have a strong sense of the consequences of every action I take, I feel whole-fully hopeful of the future, is as if I know that everything is going to be ok, even though I am fairly conscious that ''What ever happens... happens''.

Although I would love if it were with her.

rev·er·ie

ˈrev(ə)rē/

noun

A state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts; a daydream.

In the book I´m reading, the main character is someone I feel to be very like me, if not identical in the way he thinks.

That feeling has made the book quite personal, for when Amory (the protagonist) discovers things about himself, or more correctly, it told things about his character, is as if I´m being told things about my character, because in many ways, the traits attributed to Amory, are traits that can be found in my person. And I don´t want to make Amory look like a flawless character, because the defects in his persona, are the things that make him so similar to me, take this bit for instance, in which he asks Clara (A women with whom he falls in love – and someone that in my mind looks very similar to Violet, as I asume many girls in the book will appear to me.) to describe him, something I often do as well to people or women I have affections towards. So when Clara answers she says this,

"You have tremendous vanity, but it´ll amuse the people who notice it´s preponderance. You´re really humble at heart. You sink to the third hell of depression when you think you have been slithed. In fact, you haven´t much self-respect. The reason you have so little real self-confidence, even though you gravely announce to the occasional philistine that you think you´re a genius, is that you´ve attributed all sorts of atrocious faults to yourself and are trying to live up to them."

I think I give so much weight to this words and this book, because I feel as if I need to ask those questions, and to get those sort of answers, to have someone like Clara –Someone like Violet or Monse – someone with whom I have a strong connection, someone who´ll tell me who I am, with and without my masks... maybe so I can move forward, or maybe so I can be who I really am. But the problem with that being that I don´t know at the present moment... Who I am.

It may a surprise for you (he said sarcastically), but one of my all-time idols is ¨old blue eyes ¨ Frank Sinatra. I´ve always had a sort of sensibility for his songs and how they touch me in a deeply personal level... in a way, I see his songs as the soundtrack for my life.

In this photo shoot, I kept humming a song of his, the very same which became the title of this post. This is a song that has been scratching the back of my head for some time now, for it reminds me of a beautiful and brilliant girl for which my affections are directed towards.

I see her as sublime as anyone can be, and absolutely talented, I see the thing everybody searches in life when I stare into her eyes, I feel invincible besides her, is as if time disappears and everything but then and there with her is the only thing that matters. she's the kind of girl one thinks about while drinking at night regretting the mistakes one made towards her... when I was abroad on my hometown I drank a lot of Old Fashioneds and whiskey neat, trying to write the right thing so she would forgive me. Nothing came of that. So at times, there was only me and Sinatra, making love to our Whisky, both of us consoling each other while we sang of the women we love.

That was the first time that his music comforted me so and in a strange way knowing that his music fitted so well with my current predicament, made me feel a slight bit of joy.

In the same way, I had never felt so much the love he felt for the women he spoke of in his music because I had never felt so much for someone and I could've never imagined that I would meet a girl as simply sublime as the one I am speaking about.

So yeah... while I don't drink as much as Sinatra (who has his own edition of Jack Daniels) I still have one for my baby, while I imagine the way she looks tonight because I got her under my skin... in a sense, it's like Witchcraft.